


Almost Moon

by Fawn_Velveteen



Category: Black Clover - 田畠裕基 | Tabata Yuki
Genre: Angst, Depression, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Suicide Attempt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-07
Updated: 2019-03-07
Packaged: 2019-11-13 06:03:30
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,330
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18026111
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Fawn_Velveteen/pseuds/Fawn_Velveteen
Summary: It was always at night. One of Noelle's squadmates, apparently, believes it's a good idea to walk across the rooftop, directly over her head while she is trying to get some sleep. Finally, she decides to confront the nighttime nuisance. What she discovers is something she never expected, nor did she wish to see.





	Almost Moon

**Author's Note:**

> I wasn't sure what archive warnings applied to this, so I did place potential triggers in the tags. If any of these themes upset you, please do not read! It's not worth it. This is certainly not meant to glamorize such heavy topics. If you are suffering from depression or suicidal thoughts, please reach out for help.

It was always at night. Someone just had to wake Noelle up. It was typical of her squad mates; unabashedly boorish and entirely inconsiderate for anything that would fall into the realms of normal social behavior. During these late night incidents, it felt as if this poor behavior was aimed directly at her. Someone decided it was the perfect opportunity to take a stroll around the rooftop, straight above where she slept. The faint padding of feet reverberated over her head. It wasn't much noise; just enough to sufficiently to get on her nerves. After the first occurrence, Noelle wasn't sure if she heard it or if it was just some odd shifting of their hideout, as the building often seemed to do during the late hours. But that wasn't the end of it. One night turned into two. Two passed into three, and so on. The identity of this nighttime wanderer remained a secret, and she was determined to uncover it.

Darkness once again fell. Noelle sat in bed with legs drawn up to her chest, waiting. She leaned forward as she listened intently to the night's static. A gust of wind whistled through the cracks of the walls. The air was crisp and dreary;  the ideal environment for a good rest. Noelle fought the urge to call off her mission and crawl under the covers for some much-needed shut-eye. The warmth of her bed was tempting, but the discovery would be far more valuable. She was not about to miss another wink of sleep over this irritating behavior.

Sure enough, the footsteps arrived. Noelle remained still as she debated whether a confrontation was truly needed. It would be satisfying to catch the person in the act, of course. Perhaps then she would get an answer. Noelle let out a frustrated cry as she dropped her chin on top of her knees. It's not like she cared what any of those weirdos were doing. They were certainly not deserving of her time, especially not when she had better things to do, like sleep.

Still, she was curious.

Curiosity won out.

Nimbly, Noelle slid out of bed. She found a pair of shoes left discarded on the floor and slipped them on. Before heading out her room, she grabbed a thick wool shawl to wrap around her shoulders.

It was far too cold to be out roaming around. The hallways, now nearly wholly enveloped in darkness, were difficult to navigate and Noelle could scarcely see more than a few feet in front of her. Despite having lived there for several months, she continued to have trouble navigating her way through her new home. Its walls seemed to shift continuously, creaking and moaning throughout the night hours as if the castle itself was a living creature. Asta, being the dimwit that he was, was convinced there was some spirit lingering amongst them. Whenever he brought it up, Noelle would scoff. Only commoners would believe in such absurd superstitions. A thick silence blanketed the hallway. The hairs on the back of her neck tingled. Noelle resisted the urge to whip around and confront any being, whether or not they are living, who dared to creep up on her. Rather, she quickened her pace and sped in the direction where she was sure there was an entry to the correct rooftop.

Noelle stopped in front of the door. Her hand floated above its knob in uncertainty. The eerie silence shriveled away as she directed all of her focus on the handle. Suddenly, she felt foolish. Here she was out in the middle of the night, wandering around the hideout, partially dressed like some madwoman. And for what, she wondered. This was none of her business. She had no reason to care. Noelle leaned in closer and held her ear upon the solid, wooden door. There was no sound coming from the other side. The footsteps had ceased. The person could have gone already, although she thought it to be unlikely since she had not bumped into any of her squad mates on her journey down there. Whoever it was, they were surely was still on the roof.

Yes, she had to know.

The knob rotated at a painfully sluggish pace. Noelle pushed the door open. She held her breath, and as more room gave way, she attempted to capture a glimpse of who the rooftop prowler could be.

It wasn't who she expected. She thought she would find Captain Yami up there, seeking the refuge for a late smoke, or perhaps Vanessa, her mind in a hazy state of intoxication, climbed above some star gazing. It wasn't too unusual for her to roam and plop down wherever her body gave out. Even Gordon was a sound candidate. He was definitely the sort of person to take advantage of the dark cloak of night to do something creepier than usual. But Finral – that was a surprise.

Finral stood at the end of the rooftop, barefoot. His toes grazed dangerously close to the edge. The door emitted a rusty croaking noise as Noelle applied more force. Despite the sudden interruption, Finral appeared to take no notice of her presence. His face turned upwards at the star-clustered sky. Noelle looked up too. A chilled breeze gently brushed through their hair. Clouds moved like ink through water as they pushed their way in front of the moon. The moon was almost in its full form, she noted. She could not recall the last time she stopped to gaze upon it.

It looked beautiful up there, all silver and smooth. Tonight it left her feeling homesick for a reason she couldn't quite name.

Noelle shivered and drew her shawl tighter around her shoulders. “Finral?” she called out.

Finral visibly flinched at the sound of his name but didn't reply. He wouldn't even look back.

"I didn't realize it was you." Her voice remained steady. A slight edge tailed the end of each word so that her squad mate would understand how annoyed she felt.  "You always wake me up, just so you know. You should try being quieter. Some of us actually value our sleep."

Still, no reply.

“What are you doing up here, anyway?” Noelle huffed in demand. She saw his hand twitch. Something wasn't right. Finral, while certainly more normal in comparison to the rest of their teammates, was rarely this quiet, and never did he outright ignore her. Sure, he had been off lately, but that's how he could be at times. It was most common whenever Finral returned from a visit with his family, just as he did a little over a week ago. Finral would move around their hideout like a ghost, scarcely say more than a few words to anyone. His squad mates tried to goad him back into normalcy with gentle teasing. Rather than his usual flustering reaction, he would stare at them, his expression vacant. A heavy sadness radiated from his skin, and Noelle found it unnerving. It would only last for a day or two. Then he would be right back to his old self as if nothing ever happened. Everyone was used to it. On this particular occasion, however, those few days merged into a full seven. Even Captain Yami backed off on his usual banter. Although they may not have vocalized it, each of the Black Bulls was becoming worried.

Then two mornings ago, Finral emerged from his room, grinning and looking ever much like his usual self. Everyone relaxed.

Finral was always fine.

“Finral?”

Noelle waited. Her emotions wavered between annoyed and concern. Something wasn't right. She needed to get Captain Yami.

* * *

 

The rest of the world was still asleep. Noelle stood in the dark, directly in front of Yami’s bedroom door. It wasn't the best idea. The Captain did not like being woken up, and she was never foolish enough to try it. Time was ticking by. She didn't know how much she could afford to waste with Finral up there, alone. Noelle shot a short, frustrated breath through her nose before finally knocking. “Captain Yami?”

A low grumble vibrated inside the room. After waiting for a moment with no response, Noelle tried again. This time she rapped her knuckles more forcefully against the door.

“Captain Yami?”

“Go the hell away.”

“It’s Noelle. I… I need to talk to you.”

There was a deep sigh, followed by weighty footsteps. Yami opened the door. He scowled, half asleep, as he rubbed his head. His irritation was palpable. "What the fuck could you possibly need to talk about at this hour?”

“I-It’s Finral,” Noelle stammered. “I think something is wrong with him.”

“Yeah? Well, no surprise there. There’s something wrong with all of you.”

“No! I mean, I couldn’t sleep! I-I heard someone walking around, so I went to investigate and-.” Noelle set her mouth in a thin, fiery line. “I saw Finral on the roof! I tried talking to him, but he wouldn’t… I… I think he may hurt himself.”

Yami paused before letting out a loud, exasperated sigh. “Where is he?”

With Noelle taking the lead, the two followed the pathway, out to the rooftop. “Why can’t you guys do this shit during the day when I’m not trying to sleep?” he asked.

“I’m sorry. I just… Oh, I don’t know! It didn’t look right.”

“Hey, it’s okay.” Yami roughly dropped a hand on top of the girl’s head. “Good to know you worry about people.”

Noelle scowled indignantly. They walked out on to the roof. Finral was still there with one foot half-way over the edge. “Fuck,” Yami muttered. Then, with his voice much louder, he spoke. "Finral, what the hell are you doing?"

Just as it was with Noelle’s, the voice of his Captain appeared to have no substantial effect. Finral continued to look skyward.

"See? He won't say anything," Noelle whispered. "It's like he's frozen."

Yami studied him closely. He couldn't sense any outside forces that would drive Finral to be in this position. He was there on his own accord. Yami couldn't decide if that was for better or worse. "Don't worry about it, kid," he gently told Noelle. "I'm going to take care of it."

With a cautious step, Yami moved forward. Part of him wanted to rush over there, drag Finral back to safety so he could smack that idiot upside the head. It was too risky; he didn't want to startle the younger man and accidentally send him over the edge. Finral was an odd one. That was just how Yami liked his squad; odd and brimming with unrealized potential. It was a chaotic balance, but they were growing closer turning themselves into a decent enough team. Finral wasn't a fighter. It made little sense that he became a magic knight other than it was what his family demanded of him or for the status symbol. He was relatively clever and sensitive, far more than he thought he led on. Those qualities could readily be put to good use. That is, only if the idiot finally realized it.

“Hey, Finral! Would you stop messing around and go to bed so we can all sleep?”

Nothing.

“I know that sounded like a question, but it was actually an order. And you better listen to before I beat your ass.”

Still, nothing.

For a moment, Yami paused. He ground his teeth, frustrated and heavy in thought, as he worked to come up with a new approach. Noelle was right; this wasn’t good. Typically, Finral would quake at any basic threat sent his way. Now it was as if he could not hear a single sound around him.  With a sigh, Yami said, “Hey, we can talk about this. I know I’m not the emotional feelings type of guy but… Just get over here, Finral!”

Yami moved in closer. His actions were slow and measured. He paused again as he tried to gauge the younger magic knight's reaction.  Yami could almost see his profile perfectly now. Finral continued to look skyward. His eyes focused hard on the stars. It was as if the rest of the world had fallen away and they were now the only things left in existence. A steady stream of tears glistened down Finral’s face. “Fuck,” Yami swore to himself. Despite his rough edges, Yami truly cared for all of his misfits. Seeing one teetering so close to the edge was not something he ever wanted to witness. 

“Come on. You’re freaking Noelle out. Hell, you’re starting to freak me out too.”

For a brief second, Finral glanced back. Yami and Noelle flinched at the sight of him. Distress ravaged his face, and deep bags marked under his red and bitterly worn eyes. He appeared exhausted. Finral blinked, dazed as if he just become aware that his squad mates were with him. They were soon forgotten. He turned away again and turned his full attention back to the sky.

“You’re okay. Whatever it is, we can talk about it.”

“Finral,” Noelle whimpered.

Finral’s right hand clenched involuntarily. She sounded so sad. He never wanted to hurt anyone.

Does it matter?

Did it ever matter?

No. There was no time to think about that now.

He took a step over the edge.

Yami did the one thing he never thought he would do; he hesitated. It couldn’t have been real. He didn’t believe what he witnessed until he registered Noelle’s sharp gasp. Yami held out an arm as a signal to Noelle to stay back. Even if he hadn’t the girl would have remained frozen. She did not have the will to move. In the moments that would follow, all sense of normalcy would dissolve. The new life she had built throughout the last few months, the life she loved so dearly, would no longer exist. She wasn't prepared to let this final, precious time of hope go.

Slowly, Yami walked over and peered over the edge.

“Shit.”

**Author's Note:**

> The Black Clover fandom on here is so small, and I feel bad for joining suddenly with this but... Hello! This isn't necessarily over; I would like to do a follow up. If I can think of a proper one, that is. 
> 
> Thank you to everyone who has read this. I appreciate it!


End file.
